THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A FUCK: How To Relieve Anxiety

Get rid of your anxiety and gain control over your life. A counter intuitive way to live a better life

Everybody has things that they f*ck about and most people give too many f*cks about too many things. And you probably are one of those people, that’s why you’re reading this. “Calm down amigos” as stated by the author, It’s fine we all been there. All you need to do is to read to the end. And you are going to find out how.

1. Don’t Try

The book starts with a story about a Germain Poet named Charles Bukowski, a mailman working in the post office for half of his life. He hated that job and wanted to become a writer but, no book publisher wants to give him an opportunity. Living a life where he spends most of his paycheck drinking booze and prostitute he is a loser.

And one day a local book publisher finds a pique of interest in the man and allowed him to write a book. Now, he has the option either to write and starve or keep working at the post office. He knows this opportunity will never come again so, he chooses to write and starve for a few months.

After a few weeks, he publish his first book called “Simply Post Office” and it sells like hot cake. He never would’ve thought that it would be such a success. But, it wasn’t his amazing storytelling skills and discipline that made him succeed. It was because he is honest with his identity and accepts himself that he is a “Loser” and he’s not trying to change anything. And when he died the word craved on its tombstone is “Don’t Try”.

2. Give A F*ck About Something

You can’t stop giving f*cks to everything. Because in a way you’re giving a f*ck about not giving a f*ck

In the present day, that are too many things that we can give a fuck. A huge amount of things happen regularly from your phone, your colleagues, your phone, your social media, the list goes on and on. You can’t give f*cks to all of them, because we humans have limited f*ck that we can give.

So make yourself a list of things worth giving a f*ck for me its : family, well-being, career, personal finance you list may differ from this and that is fine. And after this, you can start not giving a f*ck to anything else from your list.

3. Backward Law

The desire for more positive experiences is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.

The theory behind this is the more we crave positive experiences like being liked by other people and praised makes we hold a certain beliefs of our identity but, when the praise starts to fade so do we question our own beliefs. Example: The more you wanted people to like you, the more you become self-centered, selfish, and narrow-minded you become. And you’re going to think over what people think about you but, If you accept the fact that I’m not liked by everyone chances are you are going to feel relieved of all burden. It’s not about being different but, living being comfortable living indifferent.

4. You’re Responsible For Your Life

Being responsible is often correlated with being at fault but that isn’t necessarily true. Our culture defines being the one responsible as the one at fault. If you drive a car and hit a guy that’s passing the street, you are responsible and you’re at fault. But, if someone were to put a baby in front of your house and leave it. It’s not your fault that the baby got in there. But it’s your responsibility to take action.

5. Admitting Your Weakness

Admitting One’s weakness is hard. Perhaps the hardest thing you can do. Because it’s not just honesty and humility Its, existential

Why Do We Avoid It?
We do it because it’s how our culture teaches us to protect ourselves from society. People have beliefs of who they are and they stick with it. If a man beliefs he is a good writer then, that’s his identity. It’s hard to make that man believe he’s not a good writer because that is shaking his very identity and that may change his social standing where identity plays a big role.

Why Should We Admit It?
Because the only way to improve is to first accept his weakness. Until you see where the flaws you technically can fix anything and If you felt something wrong with your life it meant that there’s something wrong that you need to fix.

This book is the first book I read out side of subject books on school and I’m glad that it is. It changes my perspective on how I should live my life and what to focus on.

Have you read the book? Or do you have any suggestion of what should I read next? Write it on the comment section bellow. Thanks